{missing home}

 I don't know what happened, but this morning was hard. Did I mention we have construction happening right out our window? They are building new Hales (dorms) across the parking lot from ours and it can be soooo loud sometimes. Obviously we leave our window open because it's always so bloody hot. Especially last night.

I didn't want to get up this morning. My roommate went running at 7, and I just wanted to sleep. I fell back asleep after she left for a little bit. She got back about 7:40am and that's when I woke back up. She immediately went to go jump in the shower and I just rolled over and wanted to cry. So I did. 

I miss being home. I had been dreaming about my family and being with them and didn't want my dream to go away. I did not want to get up. I did not want reality to be true.    

I miss waking up when I want and not because someone else is up. I miss the smell of my room with my bath and body works wall flower. I miss my sweet baby cocoa laying on the blanket I put down for her to sleep on next to my bed, and waking up in the morning and seeing her. I miss getting a text from Mary at 10:30 every other day while I'm sitting in Physiology telling me she's not getting up for school, haha and me telling her that yes, yes she was. I miss coming home late at night to my brothers playing games in Jared's room and just going in and talking with them. I just flat out miss being home.

Well, the crying didn't last long at all. Realizing I just needed to suck it up and I wasn't going home, I got myself up, made my bed, and went and jumped into the shower. And my day went on. Sitting outside before religion I started to write this post from my phone. I don't know what it is lately but all I've wanted to do it write. Write letters, write in my journal, write updates for my blog. Just write. I don't know if it's just that I haven't done it in so long that I just have a "fire" under me to write, or if I just love the feeling I get after writing. It's feeling of relief when I am able to just sit down and write.

Ya know, I easily could've just written about my hard morning in my  journal. Easily. {by the way--thanks again Tammy for the adorable journal} But instead I decided to share it on my blog. Why? Because its real life. And that's what this experience in Hawaii is all about. Real life. I really am in my favorite place in the world and wouldn't have changed my mind to come here; but today was a hard day. And you know what, it's okay to have hard days, [especially Mondays] cause that means I have something to have a hard day about. I am lucky enough to have someone and something to miss. Yay me.

Today I just had to remind myself, it was just a bad morning, not a bad life! I have a great life and completely appreciate all the love and support from my sweet family since I have been out here, I can't imagine not having them behind me and all the love they send me everyday.

                                               Kisses from the sea. xoxo